Letter to self

Letter to my childhood-self(part-1)

        

    

Dear Bidu,

    Hey dear, how are you?It’s been long since we met. You know, people often talk about their childhood with regrets and lessons. But, I don't know, is it because of being the tiniest member or sheer luck, I never had any regret for being you. On the contrary you are rather my inspiration. Oh yes! Don’t worry about your handwriting, it won’t improve much though, you will start loving them. You will find it all depends on your mood. Later you will shift to predefined fonts. So, work for building such software instead!!!Yes, I would agree you have made many mistakes, even I do, but that’s not a big deal! What’s more important is you never gave up.

You were silly, and so you believed you can do anything,ANYTHING and that’s exactly what I lack. You know it’s boring to be an adult! It’s suffocating here! You will be astonished to know, Bidu that i have started limiting myself with reason! The things which you did instantly, I ponder for days giving reasons!! I have started questioning my abilities,YOUR ABILITIES Bidu! Can you imagine, I have started talking less now lest I end up hurting people or myself!And yes,”the most talkative girl of the class” label no longer suits me.

You taught me over the years, that friends are the most beautiful gifts of life, but you will be disheartened to know,  I have started losing those treasures as well. I still remember how you loiter around talking  with neighbours and came home late meeting dadu(grandpa) after school.Alas! I down my eyes while coming home hurrying lest I have to talk to people.What comes flawlessly to you, takes a lot of effort now. I don’t know why, but I miss you a lot….sometimes I even become envious of you. You know why? Maybe it’s because, you have the privilege of spending hours with Dadu-thammu(Grandpa-Grandma), or have the fun of hiding behind curtains when Bapi(Dad) returns home from office, or may be because you have the luxury of listening to didi’s stories or may be because you consider yourself Sania Mirza while playing badminton, without even knowing she is a tennis player!fool you are!! Or may be because you are appreciated for even the smallest of your achievements, as if you brought a world cup home!! You are so confident ,Bidu, and  here I am becoming more and more vulnerable to my negativities. You have never taught me so!

Well it’s me who have started to think more of consequences than its actions. It is me who have started doubting you.Sorry dear!! I promise to sound a bit positive when we meet again.(self-promise?). 

Well you know, though, I am no longer basked like you, but I have become more sensitive to slightest of the harsh words.I won’t lie, but you have spoilt me. I still wait for someone else’s validation to my works whereas, it is you whom I should look up to. Let me tell you one thing, never ever think that your worth is small,it is you who has the power of re-reforming me. Never let me down, girl!

Yes your life has been amazing and so as mine. I too am grateful for those lovely friends that are in my life. You will be amazed to know, most of your friends are still with me!cute as they are!!

Here’s few secret for you,

When you go up to college,you will meet a few extraordinarily amazing people, but fact is you will never be in any group as such. You will have few sweet roommates who will be like home. You will have four tea-lover friends. You will be privileged with two marvellous labmates and a very special best friend as well. You will have a bunch of bitter-sweet memories but I will request you to keep you calm and never have any hard feelings for anyone, cause losing friends will hit you hard. Don’t let yourself be bogged down by your thoughts.

Okay!no more spoilers! Life will be like pickle-tickle for you, and you must be grateful for every bit of it.

Now go back and enjoy your childhood and know that ma bapi loves you(mom&dad).And yes,don’t obey dadu when he says “ja ghure aye kothao theke tarpor abar amar kache asbi..buro manusher kache sarakhhon bhalo lagbe na tor”(go and roam a bit and do come again...you won’t enjoy much with a aged fellow), ‘cause you are going to miss him a lot later. Enjoy and never ever belittle yourself with reason...I love you the way you are….hey, eat properly you skinny little monkey...keeping loving you Ganesha and keep inspiring me.

Let me know about you too...do write soon.

With tonnes of love and zero regrets,

Yours adult self

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